Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in koinbahd's LiveJournal:

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Sunday, January 28th, 2024
11:45 pm	i got a chinchilla today. he looks like picachu!!!! i didn't get him a cage b/c he freely roams around the apartment. he likes caves and crevices, so he's always exploring!!! sometimes he even eats papers!!!! did you know he has more than 50 hairs growing from a single folicle? i hope i can feed him spicy beef curry and falofel. he already peed into the socket and nibbled on some wires. ps why doesn't anybody comment in my lj? (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 25th, 2023
11:41 am	baboon i dont get it- did my sister win best dressed suporlotive or not? (Comment on this)
Monday, August 21st, 2023
2:34 pm	no matter how fat i get, my boobs stay small dear diary: i am writting from russia. this just in: I am so fat, OMG. i am fatter than any human being ever!!! here;s why i'm so fat: 1. my stomach is fat 2. my ass is fat 3. my arms are fat 4. my thighs are fat 5. even my eyes are filled with fatty cells 6. my boobs are not fat it's like some kind of paradox or something- no matter how fat my ass or my stomach or my eyes, my boobs are always not fat. In other News, I will be leaving for Spain in 2 days. I have spent almost 3 weeks in Russia, and as a result- I haven't shitted and/or slept in over 20 days. While my sister was here, I tried to sleep with her, but couldn't b/c always partying with dead dad and others. Then, my sister left- but sleeping again was a problem- b/c too many parties with dead dad. Shitting is even harder than any other trip, even harder then when i went to Latvia. I am eating 30 metamusil capsules every day, and still no luck. Sometimes I shit for 1 seconds, but what good is that, when the average human shits for at least 20 minutes every day!??! Maybe that's why I'm so fat. We have in Russia a summer house called "Dacha"- all russia fans must know this. When I went to the Dacha, dead dad said we should travel in a helicopter, so we did. In the helicopeter, my sister sat on my sunglasses and they broke. Dad said "I am so dead". There was a huge storm in the Dacha, and we lost power for 2 whole days. There was no lights or water or phone. We tried to go out to sea in dead dad's boat, because my dad was like "I am dead". But when on the boat, the waves were 1.5 meters (probably about 6ft) high. it was very rocky on the boat, we tried to fish, but caught nothing. Then I had to pee during this storm, and again dad said "I am so dead". So i went to the edge of the boat, and made my sister hold me by my life jacket (we have to wear life jackets because such a huge water turbulence). THen I made dead dad turn around and close his ears, and peed of the side of the boat. THe waves reached my ankles but I didn't fall, b/c my sister was holding me during urination. I was probably the first peeing person she ever held in her hands. Then, another funny situation happened. We went mushroom picking in the Russian forest- in Russia forests are HUGE, and are inhabited by wild boars and wild pigs, and sometimes wild brown bears. Everywhere I went, I saw footprints of bears, and marks of wild beasts. Suddenly- I realized I did not konw where was my family. I yelled by no answer! I WAS LOST IN THE RUSSIAN WOODS!!!! i started to fear, b/c there were wild animals, perhaps ready to attack, perhaps full of hunger and anger. I walked and walked and walked- and no sign of family. One hour passed. I was very scared, fans. my dad was probalby like "I am SOOO dead". then i found a main road- but it was an unfamiliar road, and no cars came, not even russian cars. I wanted to cry, but couldn't b/c of dehydration and constipation. I walked along this road, and suddenly, about 30 minutes later, I hear a fait sound- it was honking. DEAD DAD WAS HONKING THE CAR HORN!!!! i was so happy, i went towards the honking sound- and alas, found the car with my family. They were really worried- my brother was crying and my dad was saying "i am soo dead", just as I had predicted. Back in the village, there were cows and sheeps and hens, and even dogs. I was not allowed to milk the cow b/c strangers make the cow nervous- and then it stops giving milk. By accident, my brother dropped my very nice manual camera and broke the lens. He started to cry, and cried untill my dad said "do no worry, we will buy new camera, or else, i am dead". then we returned to ST. Petersburg, and my sister left for the US. Can you believe that BRITISHIS AIRWAYS did not feed her and lost her luggage AGAIN!?! WTF. british airways=CRAP. it always looses our luggage, every time, and especially, doesn't feed us. Then, in ST. Petersburg, i went shopping many times, and bought new sunglasses, and new lense for my camera, AND, fans you won't believe this- but i bought my first digital camera. well not first- b/c i had already owned a very cheap digital camera- that stored only 20 pics and was probably about .5 megapixel. But this time, i bought a very nice canon- 7.1 megapixel!!!! fans- i also went to very expensive, designer underwear store. the cheapest bra was $400!! can you believe it!?! the underwear cost more than my new digital camera!! in the russian market, we bought red tshirts that said USSR on them. then our family wore matching USSR tshirts and played volleyball on the beach. My sister's home computer broke, so she is trying to use my laptop that's running Gentoo- she is very distraught b/c she doesn't understand how to use gaim. Sincerely, Stacey (Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 12th, 2022
12:07 pm	nudist colony once, while roadtripping throughout CA and nevada in a car, i almost came accross a huge nudist colony... ALMOST.... (Comment on this)
Saturday, April 30th, 2022
3:44 am	so i never write in this piece of shit, but i just wanted to announce to the 0 persons who read this: i think im in love with one of my professors. ps. im not sure why i have to keep saying that is 2022 in order to post stuff. it's always telling me some date error, unless i pretend im from the future. its like this journal is for aliens only. i hope i dont feel this way 17 yrs from now. (Comment on this)
Monday, August 23rd, 2021
11:13 pm	MY SISTER IS A HO yea thats right, i dont even know what else to say. she already had someone stick a tongue in her mouth. how can i teach her that soon instead of tongue it will be a big dick??? (1 Comment |Comment on this)
11:13 pm	MY SISTER IS A HO yea thats right, i dont even know what else to say. she already had someone stick a tongue in her mouth. how can i teach her that soon instead of tongue it will be a big dick??? (Comment on this)
10:05 am	there's a huge blister on my toe its like this bubble around my 4th toenail that triples the width of my toe! and i dont really mind it, except for the fact that i'm so tempted to pop it. but i can't, bc where will all that liquid go?? it's in a safe place now, cushioned by a layer of skin just around my toenail. it's my first day back at work since may, which makes the urge to pop my blister just that much more intense. i mean, wtf else am i supposed to be doing here? (Comment on this)
Sunday, August 22nd, 2021
9:42 am	hello goodbye last night was maelina's going away party. highlights of the night include maelina hitting on her brother's friend, maelina hitting on this grl from CT, and maelina hitting on jess. i guess im a little sad i wont see her for like 4 monthes, but i usually dont see her during the year for that long anyway, so it's no biggie. she's all like freaked out about going to spain. little does she know that she'll have more fun than she ever imagined possible... in other news, im really psyched about furniture shopping for my apt, and then being able to use the elevator to get it inside. im really not psyched about having no money. im also not psyched about my bf being a total payaso lately. (Comment on this)
Saturday, November 21st, 2020
4:18 pm	i found a home yea thats right. 7th and A. it faces thompkins sq park, and theres elevator and laundry in my building. this is good bc it gives me many places to masturbate. i argued w/the landlord for like 5 hours about the rent and stuf like that, but its finally down to what i want. im moving in next week. its kinda hot. i start my lawyer job next week, but more importantly, i am officially an etutor: http://www.cs.nyu.edu/courses/fall04/V22.0102-001/syllabus102.html. now i have 2 jobs. one where i fuck with immigrants, and one where i fuck with nyu students. (Comment on this)
Monday, August 17th, 2020
8:50 pm	my sister is gay, and other news my sister is currently being very gay, and im sorry to all the homosexuals that i have to apply the word gay to my sister. but i simply can't think of any other way to describe her homosexual tendencies. she's now really obsessed w/turning 16. WTF. she's like OH MUH GAWD my sweet 16 partay!! OMFG!! I NEED A DRESS! OMFG I NEED SOME NEW SHOES!! OMFG I NEED A GF BC IM SO GAY!!!! today i rented Manhattan so i could finally see it for the first time. and guess what!!!! she started watching it w/mom like 30 min ago, so now, I HAVE TO WAIT FOR HER TO BE DONE b4 i can see it. she really sucks. in other news, pete is also sometimes gay bc he totally thinks my sister is better than me. wtf. (Comment on this)
Saturday, August 15th, 2020
11:51 pm	US Soil my feet have touched the US soil. it is so truly good to be home. i cant wait to see pete. (Comment on this)
Thursday, August 13th, 2020
11:34 am	cheers, mates ok so im' in england now, my headcuarters being in bristol, although i spent a few days in london as well. you see, my aunt- my dad's sister that is, lives in bristol and she is kindly letting us crash here. and by us, i mean not only my sister and i, but also my mom- my dad's exwife who decided to come along. the fact that she's the ex wife does make it odd, but not any more odd than the fact that my aunt just had major surgery just a few days ago. the surgery was not expected when we first planned the trip, it just sort of happened. but besides that, she's chipper. london was ok- i saw all the usual tourist things that i saw 3 years ago. im not a fan of england. lots of british people here. but the one nice thing about this country was the town named Bath- a lil south of bristol where they have these baths built by the romans with hot water springs coming from under the ground. it was amazing, the water was like 80 degrees!!!! i also went to Oxford one day bc my sister is apparently obsessed with studying there. so it turns out everyone gets a private tutor at oxford and takes only 2 sets of exams during the whole course of study. a preliminary exam to see if they're smart enough, and a final that tests your cumulative knowledge of the past 4 years. i will never succeed in this kind of school. we also saw platform 9 3/4 in london- for all harrypotter ppl, thats the platform to go to wizard school. i tried mince pie- it was heavenly. i also tried soft vanilla icecream from british truck with some chocolate sprinkle on top. oh yeaaaa. today i saw clifton and bristol and a huge suspension bridge. i am naucious and have diarhea at the same time. except for mince pie, british food sucks. (Comment on this)
Friday, July 31st, 2020
12:04 am	daily update from USSSR By daily I mean weekly or monthly. Because there is only one computer in Russia. The internet is not okay. My bag are currently making their way around the continent of Africa. Due to lack of underwear and Walmarts in Russia, I was forced to buy expensive designer underwear for about 10 dollars a pair. Fortunatly my sister benefited because she only wears designer underwears. Last week we went to Latvia which is just like Russia except with a different name. Also you have to take an overnight train to get there, and by overnight train I mean a train where Tvs constantly threaten to fall on you while you slumber, and passport controlling women look like men. In latvia we saw a Russian pop concert. The most memorable performance was by a drag queen in a massive fur coat with dancers dressed like milk maids all around it and kossack. Another important performance was by a Turkish choir of astonishingly gay men (Like TATU but male) and a woman by the name of VARVARA in a bright green nightgown singing the theme from Cats. The men wore black and white masks and broke into Superman poses at random. And speaking of superman, one singer actually was superman. In human form. The maine superstar was philip Kurkorov, who would have flashing pictures of himself in the background. Each picture ranged in ugliness from being very hot to extremly like a monkey. He wore a shirt which said "I <3 leather straps" and had dancers that wore extremely fake boobs and afros. View the following picture of the leather strap man. And for more info on bad pop: http://www.newwavestars.com/ I also went to an Aqua Park which involved co ed locker rooms, showers, and bathrooms. (Comment on this)
Friday, July 17th, 2020
5:21 pm	FRED FROM WILTON so the other day, i was on the subway. IN SPAIN. at a very non-touristy, non famous location. and who do i run into. FRED FROM WILTON!!!! EVEN IN SPAIN I MUST SEE HIM!!!! the funniest part was- apparently he´s visiting some kid who was in the NYU program with me, and i was pretty ok with the kid so me and fred actually had to talk to each other!! it was so bazaar. anyways, im so happy i went to spain. today is my last day, everyone else already left on the group flight, so i´m kind of enjoying my day alone- I GET TO DO WHATEVER I WANT!!! but at the same time, i´m also not enjoying it on account of being really really sick. starting with the pomplona weekend, i havent felt so good, and the last few days were INSANE, so i kind of dont have a voice at alll, and my throat really hurts. my dad is going to be pretty surprised when he finds out his daughter looks like death!! i had to whisper to my senora this morning about my departure time. yea thats how bad it is! anyways, i think i bought like a whole new wardrobe while i was here, (i became really girly, yes). but the point is- i dont know how all this shit will fit in my suitecase!!! i think im gonna have to make a sack out of my bedsheets!! (Comment on this)
Thursday, July 16th, 2020
6:25 pm	i am always drunk and high it seems like unless im cramming for my art final, im always either drunk or high in this country. at least during the last few days. sometimes i´m also slutty!!! anyways, im done with exams, i leave for russia this sunday morning. im psyched about seeing my sister. soon we will be fellow comrades in our own country! (Comment on this)
Sunday, July 12th, 2020
6:46 pm	SATURDAY/SUNDAY so, similar to every other day here, i rolled out of bed and headed out for yet enother 983742 hours of insanity. the bus to Pamplona was an unorganized mess or all kinds of people and we finally got to pamplona by around 8pm. fortunately we had exactly 12 hours to kill before the bulls, in a town that was freezing, rainy, dirty and insanely expensive. of course, nobody told us to anticipate the cold nor the prices and we felt royally fucked. somehow we managed to find a pizza place where we scorfed 4 euro pizza being unable to afford any drinks. we then went to a caffe and ordered 3 drinks each just to waste time, and by the time we were done with the drinks and the crazy italians that tried to hit on us, it was still only 12. now the outside was not only painfully cold and wet, but also slowly starting to get crouded. we pushed our way into a dirty bar where we bought beers that ended up costing 10 euros each. realizing this was our only drink for the night, we tried to enjoy it... and by enjoy it, i mean tried desperately to drink it as `fast as we could before some idiot knocked it out of our hands. we were starting to get harassed by strange spanish men. some were way too drunk. soon it started to get so crouded i couldn´t see my feet. fortunately i found some scrawny looking guy who had pot and we rolled a pretty large blunt in the middle of the plaza outside. i think smoking that night was the best thing i´ve ever done. it made time fly, and stopped me from freaking out about the men that were now not only touching me but also pissing all over the fucking streats. i´ve never seen such crouds, and it felt like a great accomplishment to get out alive. as far as the bull run was concerned, i saw maybe 3 bulls and 2039842839 stupid ppl running. payasos. on the bus back, me feet were drenched in urine, my hair smelled like pot and i had no voice. i think i´m pretty much ready to leave spain. (Comment on this)
9:27 am	Friday having been out pretty late the night before, i didnt wake up till 3pm and realized that i had to go to horseback riding in like 5 min. i"m not sure how i made it to the hoseback riding bus on time, but by 6pm we were in the Sierra´s. allison took us to a ranch in the mountains of spain and it was a great consolation that they rode english and not some spanish weird style as we half expected. the trail was absolutely amazing. we saw the reservoir, cow pasture and olive plantation aspects of spain. and best of all, we saw the sunset in the mountains. the last part of the trail was a wide, several mile long stretch. i probably shouldnçt have been galloping on any animals this soon after surgery, but my horse had a really smooth canter so why the hell not. luckily, my horse drooled all over my boobs when i got off. we got back to madrid around 10, had dinner and then met up around 1am to go out. i dont know what we were thinking seeing as we had to go to Pamplona and stay up all night saturday. but we went to the Palacio- which is a club inside an old royal palace in madrid, so all the dance rooms are decorated with ancient mirrors and renaisance paintings and the furniture is very royal. it was great except i got way too drunk. the thing about spain is that buying drinks for girls is not a common practice, or rather, not a practice at all. every night i go out, i make it my goal to get some dumb guy to buy me alcohol, and it never works. but this night, some guy actually came up to us and offered free drinks, so even though we were pretty drunk already, we definitely had no choice but to accept this once in a lifetime offer. (Comment on this)
9:13 am	Thursday we grabbed some italian food after class (all foods other than spanish are the best over here). then we headed out to a cave bar where cave milk comes down from the ceiling!! a stream of milk goes runs from the ceiling, into a 4LITER glass, while the bar tenders mix in all types of alcohol from vodka to whiskey to ruM!!! we shared a huge glass and then went to another bar near ester´s house. it wasnt spectacular but we only had about a week of spain and what the hell so we stayed till like 5am. some boy with pretty eyes told me all about http://www.hispalinux.es/ in spanish! but i still refused to give him my number, which causes 3 of his friends to try to convinced me that sex is different than love, and when in spain, boyfriends in other countries like the US really dont count. it was an interesting discussion about culture. slash i was really drunk. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 7th, 2020
6:19 pm	my boyfriend who i´m so crazy about bc im crazy i have the best bf in the world, its true. but the thing i dont like is that he´s such a guy!!! he´s always like blahh blah blah im male !"! blah blah blah look at me!! SO MASCULINE!! and im like wtf!! MASCLULINE? so he´s interviewing for this job now, and im like MOTHERLAND, bc if he doesnt get this job he wont be able to buy me nice things. i especially want a queensize bed!!! and then, hte other day it rained on the same day both in the states and in spain. so my bf is all nice and romantic like- remember when we kissed in the rain! and im like OH FUCK, it rained on my clothes. in spain they have clothes lines and so thats how we dry things and of course the one day i did laundry it fucking rained!!! no but seriously, he´s the best thing in my life. well, spain is another best thing in my life. he´s the only reason i want to leave!!! (2 Comments |Comment on this)